This past weekend, I had the pleasure of entertaining my favorite campus visitors: My parents. No, I am not being sarcastic, and, yes, I do have friends my own age.
They’re here!!!!
Before you peg me as the biggest Mommy-and-Daddy’s-girl on campus, hear me out. I get it. You spent the first 18 years of your life living under their rules, so why would you want to give up the freedom (freedom!!!!) college has brought you, even for one measly weekend?
Well, as a senior, I’d like to think that I have perfected the art of the parents’ visit. And while it still only takes fifteen minutes for my mom’s nagging to get on my nerves, it would take a whole lot more than that to ruin this weekend for me.
So allow me provide some tips on how to make the most of when the parents come to town.
First things first, you would be a fool not to hit the nicest restaurants on campus the moment your visitors arrive. Hell, invite all your friends! The dining hall generally doesn’t serve steak tartare, and we all know the standard student can’t cook anything besides pasta, and can’t afford anything that isn’t entitled Jimmy John’s. Now is the perfect time to get a first-class meal in your belly without breaking the bank, so don’t forget to order enough for leftovers!
And ESPECIALLY don’t forget desert…
Following dinner, take your visitors to your favorite bar—booze is on them! Chances are your parents won’t be down to party past midnight (10 P.M. if they’re anything like my mom), which authorizes you to get appropriately inebriated after their departure. Just make sure your brunch plans aren’t before noon—ahem one—the next day.
Post-Saturday morning brunch, nurse your hangover with some fresh air by guiding your parents on a personalized campus tour. Parents Weekend is a great excuse to tour campus like a freshman, and let’s face it, everyone can appreciate a long walk through the Diag or the campus Quads. Plus, who else cares which buildings your classes are in, or where you have lived all four years? Your parents are the ideal audience for a “me”-driven campus tour.
Next, show them just how much you love your school by taking them to a sporting event. Personally, I take my parents to at least one football game every fall—pre-game shenanigans included. Typically, my dad wants to get to the game WAY earlier than I do (seriously, who goes to a game before kickoff?!) so once again, there’s always time to pre-game harder following their exit.
Mama loves to pregame!
Bonus: This weekend, and this weekend only, you have a socially acceptable place to sit during the second half once your legs just can’t take standing in the student section anymore.
But before you attend the game, make sure you stop by your school’s bookstore to invest in some quality *insert your college name here* apparel for the occasion. And since this shopping excursion is paid for by the angels who raised you, don’t forget to purchase those ridiculous overalls AND that overpriced hoodie you have had your eye on since September.
After the game, take advantage of a good night’s sleep; it’s probably both the first and last you get all semester. That fluffy hotel bed is on their dime, so enjoy it while you can! (Especially those of you still living in the dorms…) Picture this: Your own king-sized bed and nothing to do but watch movies until you drift off into a blissful slumber. Plus, there’s no chance your drunken roommates will wake you up at four in the morning. Ah, peace at last.
Oh, and don’t forget to do the most necessary event of the weekend before your parents leave: Laundry. No matter how old you get, no mom can resist lending a helping hand, especially once she’s seen just how long it has been…
With another successful Parents Weekend in the books, you may even be sad to see them go. But it’s never too early to start planning the next one—namely to let your laundry pile up as high as you can, and keep your eye on the trendiest (most expensive) new restaurants.
Just don’t forget to clean your room before they come next time!